Confidence and rejection come hand in hand.
Your confidence and success all depend on your relationship with rejection.
Think of all the times you saw a hot guy or girl and you never went up to them. Think of all the jobs you wanted to pursue but you never applied for them. Think of all the business ideas in your mind that you never went through with. I want you to ask yourself why?
You never went forward with what you wanted because you’re scared of the word NO!
N-O … that 2 letter word has stopped you from something your soul wants.
So now you need to ask yourself why you’re afraid of the word no?
The word NO will not pinch your skin. It won’t physically hurt you so why do we hold back on asking out the person we fancy?
We must understand that even is that person says no it has brought clarity to your questions. It will redirect you in another direction that you can be sure of. If you never asked out the guy...
Dear all my commitaphobes...
I don’t know if you know this about me but I’m an avoidant attachment type. I basically find it hard to commit to anyone because it may take away my freedom. I will always stand at arm’s length from the opposite sex in order to get rid of the closeness.
I use any excuse under the sun to keep my distance when I get close to someone
‘Oh they aren’t right for me’
‘They cant travel’
I’ll find any excuse maybe their fashion or who they hang around with or even what they eat! Haha, I know I’m crazy, right?
But this is something I have recognized in myself whilst studying the psychology of relationships, and its something I’m determined to heal in myself. Avoidants tend to be the least happy in relationships because they are always trying to distance themselves from vulnerability in order to refrain from being hurt. ( P.S. there is more information on this in my...
Men and Women are two Different Species
I’ve dedicated this month of reading to the topic of relationships. I want to understand how we can encourage our partners to be more in touch with their emotions in order to have more effective communication.
To be honest, I’m mostly looking to understand men’s brains in more depth to help you, girls, as my inbox is full of ‘How can I get my boyfriend to understand my needs?’ and ‘He doesn’t see that he’s hurting me! ’
So, I went old school and started reading Men are from Mars,Women are From Venus, and came across the cave.
What is described in the book is that men like to come up with solutions to problems alone! They are wired to be independent with problem-solving. When there is a problem in the relationship they feel obliged to come up with the solution alone. So they retreat to their cave, they need space to figure out the problem in their own...
So the past few days i've been talking about ways to manage your home in this pandemic,
At this moment, we must accept the current circumstances of staying at home. If we are not accepting then we are resisting and resisting is only straining your brain. When we face a mental battle we must first accept the situation but our job as mindful humans is to reach for thoughts that make us feel better not worse.
From now on I want you to program your mind to look for what's right today and not what's wrong. Where you bring you attention determines how you feel.
YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR STATE!
So after acceptance we make the most of this situation, when you wake up i want you to say
‘Today is going to be a good day’
Say to your household in the morning to set your mental state right. This is a very simple way to train your brain to look for what's right.
At the end of the day i want you to journal and reflect...
We think we know our loved ones pretty well, but in fact, some of us don't ask enough questions.
Do you know what your partner's perfect day looks like?
Do you know your mum's, first love?
Do you know what your dad's first job was and any funny stories to go along with it?
Do you know your partner's most treasured memory
Do you know if your partner is an extrovert or an introvert?
There are so many conversations we are yet to have that can make us have closer relationships, we can sometimes be stuck in the everyday rat race and all we ask is ‘what's for dinner?’
After my travels, I was so open and was so intrigued by people and when I came home I discovered how little I knew about my loved ones. I started to ask questions, I found out the most random facts about my family that helped me become closer to them. For example when you know your partner is an introvert you can treat him differently. Instead of pushing him to speak out more at parties and be more social you...
We cause ourselves so much pain and resistance by trying to control other people's actions when in fact, we must be rid of this myth that we can somehow control others.
Sometimes I would find myself getting angry and agitated that someone in my life wouldn't meditate.
‘Just fucking try it! For god sakes everything you complain about could be gone if you just bloody meditate !’
But I can't control anyone and when I try to I have a sense of unease and anger.
When your partner hasn’t done the dishes; You can get angry at them, you can cause an uproar but you certainly cannot control what they do. However, what you can do is inspire them. Instead of roaring at them you can say;
‘Oh that made me very upset that you wouldn't do that for me, It probably would of made my day that little bit easier ’
Now, they know that this makes you upset, and your partner should not want to make you upset so, in fact, without trying...
As I receive all the feedback from my new book I realised it is helping a lot more people than I thought.
When I wrote the book it was intended to help people in their relationships by understanding who they are individually and understanding who their partner is, but as the feedback comes rolling in I now see it's helping a lot of people after a break up.
The reason why I began studying human behaviour was because I wanted to find out why my ex partner did the things he did, even though he claimed to have loved me.
When I was in my ‘dark place’ after the break-up, I continuously blamed myself I thought it was all my fault , I thought I wasnt pretty enough or I didnt give him enough sex or that I just wasnt worthy.
When in fact what I discovered was there were a number of reasons why it didn't work out that had nothing to do with my worthiness and as soon as I understood his behaviour and mine, I began to heal my heartbroken wounds.
My Ebook is now available to buy...eek!
I'm super nervous about releasing this as it's the first time I’ve ever charged for my words. However, I put so much time and effort into writing this and went completely out of my comfort zone, as you can probably tell from my emails... I'm not a writer (For example I want to put ‘lol’ right here )
When I started this newsletter I had no idea what I was even going to write each week, but as I wrote them and received your feedback I was so overwhelmed and it finally gave me the self-confidence to write a book on how to improve your relationships.
I was pushed to write this E-book as I heard the anonymous confessions of the public in lockdown- how they couldn't stand their loved ones and were even thinking of divorce after lockdown. In that moment listening to those confessions, I knew I had information that the public needed, not only to save their relationships but to improve them!
Are you constantly fighting with...
Boris Johnson- unfortunately the only BJ in my life right now
Boris has continued to be slated since the pandemic began and although we have a few laughs at some of the videos, we are forgetting that he too is a human being. You’ll notice that he just had a child this week and hopefully this makes him seem more humane to the ones slating him.
We must practice Altruism, empathy and compassion when it comes to having a dislike or hatred for others. The decision may not be to your liking but can you imagine being in that position right now. He too is a husband, a son and a father and he didn't wake up today and intend for us all to suffer.
For anyone you might hold hatred for maybe a boss, an ex or maybe that bitch Sandra down the road that gives you a dirty look in the supermarket- I would like you to practise some compassion and try slipping into their mindset in order to help understand why they can act the way they do it will help ease your...
‘ She is so nasty though ? she doesn't deserve it ’
What do you do when your so-called friend doesn't feel like too much of a friend?
Maybe she stole from you or told your boyfriend something she shouldn't have? Maybe she's just being a little mean and not treating you very nice.
My friends would actually scold me for being nice to these ‘toxic friends’ . They would say they don’t deserve my friendship or my kindness but I don't care.
I will never stop acting from acting from love and light. I will always act with kindness and empathy. Afterall, you don't know what they have gone through or why they act the way that they do.
I'm not saying I will continue to be around this person but I will never be nasty to them, if they called on me for a favour I know that I would always say yes.
Why ? because if you continue to act with love and light maybe one day they will follow in your footsteps. One day it might...