STATE OF AFFAIRS
Cheating / sex / relationships / marriages / affairs it’s got it all. This is the work of amazing therapist Ester Perel on all her experiences in the therapy room with infidelity, what causes it and how to fix it!
I am obsessed with relationships, how to improve them, where we go wrong and how we can spice up our love life.
This book stuck out at me to read because I give out a lot advice on relationships. I received hundreds if not thousands of messages from girls and women of all ages seeking help on how to deal with Infidelity. So, I wanted to understand it more and have more knowledge in order to give better advice.
Because let’s be real no matter how much you say you would never forgive a cheater, 70% of us will take back a cheating partner. But even though we are taking them back are we really learning from the deception? Are we exploring the reasons why it happened and healing fully before moving on with the relationship?
This book opened my eyes. That we can’t just blame the adulterer. We are so quick to call our cheating spouses “snakes”, but this book explains a lot of the reasons why people stray and how to prevent it and if it does happen it helps you heal and move on from it. It’s also a little spicy, it made me realise the importance of sex in relationships and if sex life is going sour we should find ways to make it more playful and exciting again.
There is so many different couples and their stories to relate to, there is no cheating scenario missing here from 50-year affairs to open relationships to porn addicts.
The main thing I got from this is communication with your partner and to explore each other needs and wants. And if you are hit with infidelity you really need to dig deep down and find the reasons why it happened it order to learn and heal.
With my own experience with infidelity I never had any explanation for over a year. Reading this book made me reach out for some closure so I could heal and better myself for my next relationship, I found out under the “snake” exterior of my ex he was severely insecure within the relationship and this caused infidelity, and I am aware I can be a very powerful character and now I know that I need to make my future partner feel more secure than I did before . Of course, I’m not excusing his infidelity! He could have communicated his feelings and we could have dealt with it. However, it happened, and I’ve learnt now.